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Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
Frankenstein 20
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Chapter 20

I sat one evening in my laboratory; the sun had set, and the moon was
just rising from the sea; I had not sufficient light for my employment,
and I remained idle, in a pause of consideration of whether I should
leave my labour for the night or hasten its conclusion by an
unremitting attention to it. As I sat, a train of reflection occurred
to me which led me to consider the effects of what I was now doing.
Three years before, I was engaged in the same manner and had created a
fiend whose unparalleled barbarity had desolated my heart and filled it
forever with the bitterest remorse. I was now about to form another
being of whose dispositions I was alike ignorant; she might become ten
thousand times more malignant than her mate and delight, for its own
sake, in murder and wretchedness. He had sworn to quit the
neighbourhood of man and hide himself in deserts, but she had not; and
she, who in all probability was to become a thinking and reasoning
animal, might refuse to comply with a compact made before her creation.
They might even hate each other; the creature who already lived loathed
his own deformity, and might he not conceive a greater abhorrence for
it when it came before his eyes in the female form? She also might
turn with disgust from him to the superior beauty of man; she might
quit him, and he be again alone, exasperated by the fresh provocation
of being deserted by one of his own species. Even if they were to
leave Europe and inhabit the deserts of the new world, yet one of the
first results of those sympathies for which the daemon thirsted would
be children, and a race of devils would be propagated upon the earth
who might make the very existence of the species of man a condition
precarious and full of terror. Had I right, for my own benefit, to
inflict this curse upon everlasting generations? I had before been
moved by the sophisms of the being I had created; I had been struck
senseless by his fiendish threats; but now, for the first time, the
wickedness of my promise burst upon me; I shuddered to think that
future ages might curse me as their pest, whose selfishness had not
hesitated to buy its own peace at the price, perhaps, of the existence
of the whole human race.

I trembled and my heart failed within me, when, on looking up, I saw by
the light of the moon the daemon at the casement. A ghastly grin
wrinkled his lips as he gazed on me, where I sat fulfilling the task
which he had allotted to me. Yes, he had followed me in my travels; he
had loitered in forests, hid himself in caves, or taken refuge in wide
and desert heaths; and he now came to mark my progress and claim the
fulfilment of my promise.

As I looked on him, his countenance expressed the utmost extent of
malice and treachery. I thought with a sensation of madness on my
promise of creating another like to him, and trembling with passion,
tore to pieces the thing on which I was engaged. The wretch saw me
destroy the creature on whose future existence he depended for
happiness, and with a howl of devilish despair and revenge, withdrew.

I left the room, and locking the door, made a solemn vow in my own
heart never to resume my labours; and then, with trembling steps, I
sought my own apartment. I was alone; none were near me to dissipate
the gloom and relieve me from the sickening oppression of the most
terrible reveries.

Several hours passed, and I remained near my window gazing on the sea;
it was almost motionless, for the winds were hushed, and all nature
reposed under the eye of the quiet moon. A few fishing vessels alone
specked the water, and now and then the gentle breeze wafted the sound
of voices as the fishermen called to one another. I felt the silence,
although I was hardly conscious of its extreme profundity, until my ear
was suddenly arrested by the paddling of oars near the shore, and a
person landed close to my house.

In a few minutes after, I heard the creaking of my door, as if some one
endeavoured to open it softly. I trembled from head to foot; I felt a
presentiment of who it was and wished to rouse one of the peasants who
dwelt in a cottage not far from mine; but I was overcome by the
sensation of helplessness, so often felt in frightful dreams, when you
in vain endeavour to fly from an impending danger, and was rooted to
the spot. Presently I heard the sound of footsteps along the passage;
the door opened, and the wretch whom I dreaded appeared.

Shutting the door, he approached me and said in a smothered voice, "You
have destroyed the work which you began; what is it that you intend?
Do you dare to break your promise? I have endured toil and misery; I
left Switzerland with you; I crept along the shores of the Rhine, among
its willow islands and over the summits of its hills. I have dwelt
many months in the heaths of England and among the deserts of Scotland.
I have endured incalculable fatigue, and cold, and hunger; do you dare
destroy my hopes?"

"Begone! I do break my promise; never will I create another like
yourself, equal in deformity and wickedness."

"Slave, I before reasoned with you, but you have proved yourself
unworthy of my condescension. Remember that I have power; you believe
yourself miserable, but I can make you so wretched that the light of
day will be hateful to you. You are my creator, but I am your master;
obey!"

"The hour of my irresolution is past, and the period of your power is
arrived. Your threats cannot move me to do an act of wickedness; but
they confirm me in a determination of not creating you a companion in
vice. Shall I, in cool blood, set loose upon the earth a daemon whose
delight is in death and wretchedness? Begone! I am firm, and your
words will only exasperate my rage."

The monster saw my determination in my face and gnashed his teeth in
the impotence of anger. "Shall each man," cried he, "find a wife for
his bosom, and each beast have his mate, and I be alone? I had
feelings of affection, and they were requited by detestation and
scorn. Man! You may hate, but beware! Your hours will pass in dread
and misery, and soon the bolt will fall which must ravish from you
your happiness forever. Are you to be happy while I grovel in the
intensity of my wretchedness? You can blast my other passions, but
revenge remains--revenge, henceforth dearer than light or food! I
may die, but first you, my tyrant and tormentor, shall curse the sun
that gazes on your misery. Beware, for I am fearless and therefore
powerful. I will watch with the wiliness of a snake, that I may sting
with its venom. Man, you shall repent of the injuries you inflict."

"Devil, cease; and do not poison the air with these sounds of malice.
I have declared my resolution to you, and I am no coward to bend beneath
words. Leave me; I am inexorable."

"It is well. I go; but remember, I shall be with you on your
wedding-night."

I started forward and exclaimed, "Villain! Before you sign my
death-warrant, be sure that you are yourself safe."

I would have seized him, but he eluded me and quitted the house with
precipitation. In a few moments I saw him in his boat, which shot
across the waters with an arrowy swiftness and was soon lost amidst the
waves.

All was again silent, but his words rang in my ears. I burned with
rage to pursue the murderer of my peace and precipitate him into the
ocean. I walked up and down my room hastily and perturbed, while my
imagination conjured up a thousand images to torment and sting me. Why
had I not followed him and closed with him in mortal strife? But I had
suffered him to depart, and he had directed his course towards the
mainland. I shuddered to think who might be the next victim sacrificed
to his insatiate revenge. And then I thought again of his words--"I
WILL BE WITH YOU ON YOUR WEDDING-NIGHT." That, then, was the period
fixed for the fulfilment of my destiny. In that hour I should die and
at once satisfy and extinguish his malice. The prospect did not move
me to fear; yet when I thought of my beloved Elizabeth, of her tears
and endless sorrow, when she should find her lover so barbarously
snatched from her, tears, the first I had shed for many months,
streamed from my eyes, and I resolved not to fall before my enemy
without a bitter struggle.

The night passed away, and the sun rose from the ocean; my feelings
became calmer, if it may be called calmness when the violence of rage
sinks into the depths of despair. I left the house, the horrid scene
of the last night's contention, and walked on the beach of the sea,
which I almost regarded as an insuperable barrier between me and my
fellow creatures; nay, a wish that such should prove the fact stole
across me.

I desired that I might pass my life on that barren rock, wearily, it is
true, but uninterrupted by any sudden shock of misery. If I returned,
it was to be sacrificed or to see those whom I most loved die under the
grasp of a daemon whom I had myself created.

I walked about the isle like a restless spectre, separated from all it
loved and miserable in the separation. When it became noon, and the
sun rose higher, I lay down on the grass and was overpowered by a deep
sleep. I had been awake the whole of the preceding night, my nerves
were agitated, and my eyes inflamed by watching and misery. The sleep
into which I now sank refreshed me; and when I awoke, I again felt as
if I belonged to a race of human beings like myself, and I began to
reflect upon what had passed with greater composure; yet still the
words of the fiend rang in my ears like a death-knell; they appeared
like a dream, yet distinct and oppressive as a reality.

The sun had far descended, and I still sat on the shore, satisfying my
appetite, which had become ravenous, with an oaten cake, when I saw a
fishing-boat land close to me, and one of the men brought me a packet;
it contained letters from Geneva, and one from Clerval entreating me to
join him. He said that he was wearing away his time fruitlessly where
he was, that letters from the friends he had formed in London desired
his return to complete the negotiation they had entered into for his
Indian enterprise. He could not any longer delay his departure; but as
his journey to London might be followed, even sooner than he now
conjectured, by his longer voyage, he entreated me to bestow as much of
my society on him as I could spare. He besought me, therefore, to
leave my solitary isle and to meet him at Perth, that we might proceed
southwards together. This letter in a degree recalled me to life, and
I determined to quit my island at the expiration of two days. Yet,
before I departed, there was a task to perform, on which I shuddered to
reflect; I must pack up my chemical instruments, and for that purpose I
must enter the room which had been the scene of my odious work, and I
must handle those utensils the sight of which was sickening to me. The
next morning, at daybreak, I summoned sufficient courage and unlocked
the door of my laboratory. The remains of the half-finished creature,
whom I had destroyed, lay scattered on the floor, and I almost felt as
if I had mangled the living flesh of a human being. I paused to
collect myself and then entered the chamber. With trembling hand I
conveyed the instruments out of the room, but I reflected that I ought
not to leave the relics of my work to excite the horror and suspicion
of the peasants; and I accordingly put them into a basket, with a great
quantity of stones, and laying them up, determined to throw them into
the sea that very night; and in the meantime I sat upon the beach,
employed in cleaning and arranging my chemical apparatus.

Nothing could be more complete than the alteration that had taken place
in my feelings since the night of the appearance of the daemon. I had
before regarded my promise with a gloomy despair as a thing that, with
whatever consequences, must be fulfilled; but I now felt as if a film
had been taken from before my eyes and that I for the first time saw
clearly. The idea of renewing my labours did not for one instant occur
to me; the threat I had heard weighed on my thoughts, but I did not
reflect that a voluntary act of mine could avert it. I had resolved in
my own mind that to create another like the fiend I had first made
would be an act of the basest and most atrocious selfishness, and I
banished from my mind every thought that could lead to a different
conclusion.

Between two and three in the morning the moon rose; and I then, putting
my basket aboard a little skiff, sailed out about four miles from the
shore. The scene was perfectly solitary; a few boats were returning
towards land, but I sailed away from them. I felt as if I was about
the commission of a dreadful crime and avoided with shuddering anxiety
any encounter with my fellow creatures. At one time the moon, which
had before been clear, was suddenly overspread by a thick cloud, and I
took advantage of the moment of darkness and cast my basket into the
sea; I listened to the gurgling sound as it sank and then sailed away
from the spot. The sky became clouded, but the air was pure, although
chilled by the northeast breeze that was then rising. But it refreshed
me and filled me with such agreeable sensations that I resolved to
prolong my stay on the water, and fixing the rudder in a direct
position, stretched myself at the bottom of the boat. Clouds hid the
moon, everything was obscure, and I heard only the sound of the boat as
its keel cut through the waves; the murmur lulled me, and in a short
time I slept soundly. I do not know how long I remained in this
situation, but when I awoke I found that the sun had already mounted
considerably. The wind was high, and the waves continually threatened
the safety of my little skiff. I found that the wind was northeast and
must have driven me far from the coast from which I had embarked. I
endeavoured to change my course but quickly found that if I again made
the attempt the boat would be instantly filled with water. Thus
situated, my only resource was to drive before the wind. I confess
that I felt a few sensations of terror. I had no compass with me and
was so slenderly acquainted with the geography of this part of the
world that the sun was of little benefit to me. I might be driven into
the wide Atlantic and feel all the tortures of starvation or be
swallowed up in the immeasurable waters that roared and buffeted around
me. I had already been out many hours and felt the torment of a
burning thirst, a prelude to my other sufferings. I looked on the
heavens, which were covered by clouds that flew before the wind, only
to be replaced by others; I looked upon the sea; it was to be my grave.
"Fiend," I exclaimed, "your task is already fulfilled!" I thought of
Elizabeth, of my father, and of Clerval--all left behind, on whom the
monster might satisfy his sanguinary and merciless passions. This idea
plunged me into a reverie so despairing and frightful that even now,
when the scene is on the point of closing before me forever, I shudder
to reflect on it.

Some hours passed thus; but by degrees, as the sun declined towards the
horizon, the wind died away into a gentle breeze and the sea became
free from breakers. But these gave place to a heavy swell; I felt sick
and hardly able to hold the rudder, when suddenly I saw a line of high
land towards the south.

Almost spent, as I was, by fatigue and the dreadful suspense I endured
for several hours, this sudden certainty of life rushed like a flood of
warm joy to my heart, and tears gushed from my eyes.

How mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we
have of life even in the excess of misery! I constructed another sail
with a part of my dress and eagerly steered my course towards the
land. It had a wild and rocky appearance, but as I approached nearer I
easily perceived the traces of cultivation. I saw vessels near the
shore and found myself suddenly transported back to the neighbourhood
of civilized man. I carefully traced the windings of the land and
hailed a steeple which I at length saw issuing from behind a small
promontory. As I was in a state of extreme debility, I resolved to
sail directly towards the town, as a place where I could most easily
procure nourishment. Fortunately I had money with me.

As I turned the promontory I perceived a small neat town and a good
harbour, which I entered, my heart bounding with joy at my unexpected
escape.

As I was occupied in fixing the boat and arranging the sails, several
people crowded towards the spot. They seemed much surprised at my
appearance, but instead of offering me any assistance, whispered
together with gestures that at any other time might have produced in me
a slight sensation of alarm. As it was, I merely remarked that they
spoke English, and I therefore addressed them in that language. "My
good friends," said I, "will you be so kind as to tell me the name of
this town and inform me where I am?"

"You will know that soon enough," replied a man with a hoarse voice.
"Maybe you are come to a place that will not prove much to your taste,
but you will not be consulted as to your quarters, I promise you."

I was exceedingly surprised on receiving so rude an answer from a
stranger, and I was also disconcerted on perceiving the frowning and
angry countenances of his companions. "Why do you answer me so
roughly?" I replied. "Surely it is not the custom of Englishmen to
receive strangers so inhospitably."

"I do not know," said the man, "what the custom of the English may be,
but it is the custom of the Irish to hate villains." While this strange
dialogue continued, I perceived the crowd rapidly increase. Their
faces expressed a mixture of curiosity and anger, which annoyed and in
some degree alarmed me.

I inquired the way to the inn, but no one replied. I then moved
forward, and a murmuring sound arose from the crowd as they followed
and surrounded me, when an ill-looking man approaching tapped me on the
shoulder and said, "Come, sir, you must follow me to Mr. Kirwin's to
give an account of yourself."

"Who is Mr. Kirwin? Why am I to give an account of myself? Is not
this a free country?"

"Ay, sir, free enough for honest folks. Mr. Kirwin is a magistrate,
and you are to give an account of the death of a gentleman who was
found murdered here last night."

This answer startled me, but I presently recovered myself. I was
innocent; that could easily be proved; accordingly I followed my
conductor in silence and was led to one of the best houses in the
town. I was ready to sink from fatigue and hunger, but being
surrounded by a crowd, I thought it politic to rouse all my strength,
that no physical debility might be construed into apprehension or
conscious guilt. Little did I then expect the calamity that was in a
few moments to overwhelm me and extinguish in horror and despair all
fear of ignominy or death. I must pause here, for it requires all my
fortitude to recall the memory of the frightful events which I am about
to relate, in proper detail, to my recollection.


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